Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
