Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
no, he came in my armpit
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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