let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
