She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
