I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
