No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
