you mean i was at the winter classic?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
