What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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