What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
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