Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
