his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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