hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize