can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
