Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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