And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
