apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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