i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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