ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
