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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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