Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I love you. Go after that dick
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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