Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
