can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
