so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize