I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
