I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
