Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
