i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
