Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
