lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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