If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
