I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
