Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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