i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
