Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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