you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I love you.
Bad choice
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
