so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
