So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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