she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There are leaves in my underwear?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
