I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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