i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
