whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
