i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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