feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
