my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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