He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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