Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
