the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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