Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
