just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
