Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
