i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
