idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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