i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
