yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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