some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
