ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
