everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
