She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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