She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize